Hamburger, PLEASE!

I like hamburgers.  So I order hamburgers. And I expect to receive hamburgers.
Time and time again, I go to order the classic, juicy, hamburger and this is how the conversation goes:

Me: "I'll have a hamburger"
Waitress: "Cheese, Lettuce, Tomato ok on that?"
Me: "NO CHEESE"
Waitress: "Oh, so you want just a hamburger?"
Me: "Yes, a hamburger. Thats what I said. If I wanted a cheeseburger, I would have ordered a cheeseburger!"

Me: "Can I have a hamburger, small fry, and a value Coke?"
Drive Thru Lady: "Hamburger, value fry, and a value Coke? Total is 3.97, please pull around"
Drive Thru Lady: "Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger Deluxe, fry and Coke"
Me: "No, I had a hamburger, like a plain hamburger"
Drive Thru Lady: " Well the Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger Deluxe is on the value menu, and cheaper, so I gave you that!"
Me: "I ordered a hamburger, I didn't want cheese or anything, just burger and bun"

I am sick and tired of this conversation about hamburgers.  So I looked up hamburger in the dictionary, and it doesn't say: see cheeseburger.

ham·burg·er

 noun \ˈham-ˌbər-gər\

1

a : ground beefb : a patty of ground beef

2

: a sandwich consisting of a patty of hamburger in a split typically round bun

That my friends is the great hamburger rant. This post doesn't nearly depict how annoyed I actually get at this situation. So feel free to bring it up in person :)